Earn vs. Deserve

Our words matter, the verbiage we decide to use can make a huge difference in how our attitudes and personalities are expressed to others. The difference between these two words has been known to me all my life, but I like many others used them interchangeably. I hadn’t really thought about the message hidden in those words. I was raised slightly spoiled, but one thing I took to heart is “you earn what you get”. All my life I understood it as the cornerstone to success, it’s not about being “deserving” it’s about “earning”, the raise, the promotion, and so on.

Deserve which is defined as: do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment)

Earn is defined as: gain deservedly in return for one’s behavior or achievements

There is a difference between deserve and earn. What I saw in my management career was so many employees thought they deserved more when they hadn’t “earned” it. I heard the phrase” I deserve this because I showed up”. The idea has circulated that just because you showed up you deserve more. There were those who showed up and did the bare minimum, there were those who showed up and met expectations, and there were those who showed up and went above and beyond. So which of those deserve the accolades, the promotion, or the raise? That’s where I believe “earned” should enter your vocabulary.

I was talking/coaching one of my employees, who was going to interview for a promotion, when I asked him, why he thought he should get the promotion. He answered because I deserve it, I show up for my shifts, come in when you need help, and I’m one of the most productive employees you have. For the most part, he was right, that was his recent behavior. However, his answer while accurate also sounded arrogant and entitled. Through our conversation I told him to change a few things, one of them was specifically one word of his answer, change deserves to earn. I asked him again why he should get the promotion. “Because I have earned it. I always show up for my shifts, I come in when the business demands it, and I push myself to be more productive in my work”. That’s the answer that is “deserving” of the promotion. The employee thought about the difference, and it seemed like it was an “ah-ha” moment for him. We continued the conversation and he explained to me how “the change in words had kept confidence in his skills but removed the know-it-all part”.